I’ve blown my blog up with posts about our trip back home to Ocean City (sorry, y’all!), and I’m really sad and depressed to back back in Tampa. I miss home so much and actually have to fight back tears as I’m writing this post. I met my husband in Ocean City, made some of the very best friends, and have so many wonderful memories from over the years. I made the decision to move to Florida to start a new life and career, and although I don’t regret it, I feel as though I’m at a cross-roads right now; did I make the right choice? I so badly wanted to leave OC behind, so why do I feel awful every time I visit and have to leave? I swear my life is a giant oxymoron sometimes.
Anyway, as my husband and I were sitting in the airport on Wednesday to fly back to Tampa, I was an absolute wreck. I couldn’t stop myself from crying for more than 5 minutes. He kept saying, “It’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay, this is temporary.” But still, the tears flowed and my eyes were gigantic puffballs. People around me were shooting inquisitive looks, as if to say what’s wrong with this chick?
Previously, I talked about how that small town of Ocean City made me feel. I found my true self, found my soulmate, found lasting friendships, and developed a dire love for Old Bay and the steaming of seafood. Looking back, my heart says it seems so asinine that I moved away in the first place, but my head says I made the right choice because there really aren’t many job opportunities aside from restaurants and hotels. Despite knowing this, I still have this unnerving desire to move back, and each time I go to visit, the desire grows stronger and it becomes harder to leave.
So as I’m sitting on the plane, watching the clouds zoom by, leaving behind all happiness I’ve ever know, my husband turns to me and says something that’s still jangling in my head. “We have the best part of Ocean City right in front of us every day.” Wiping away tears and sniffling, I said, “What do you mean?” With two little words that will never be removed from my brain, Sean looked me deep in my eyes and said, “each other.”
Suddenly, I’m not that sad anymore. For a brief moment, I felt so stupid; how didn’t I think of this?
On that note, I’m headed off to the kitchen to eat an amazing dinner with the love of my life.